I love home made preserves! I miss my pb and j sandwichs.
I've decided to improvise! For right at 100 calories, you can score a delicious gluten free treat:
Rice Cakes ala Raspberry
This is the simpiliest recipe ever! Just take 1 tbs of raspberry preserves and one pre-made rice cake and coat the rice cake with the raspberries.
I like this because it is one step up from raspberry's on celery and two steps up from raspberrys on cardboard!
Enjoy!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Things NOT to Say
There are several things that are discouraging that you should not say to someone with depression or anxiety. I have put them in categories:
Spiritual: "Let God carry the burden." "Read your Bible more." "Serve others and you will feel better."
You get the gist, any idea that by reading more, praying more, or serving other people will make the depression go away is just not true. People who are expriencing depression will be more frustrated with you for not understanding what they are feeling. Many cannot muster the energy to brush their teeth, let alone pray, read, or serve others. Some may have tried doing these things, only to find they didn't help and so they are frustrated with themself about why these things may have worked for someone else but not for them.
Cognitive-Behavioral: "Act Opposite to your Emotion." "Fake it until you make it."
Statements along this realm are frustrating to hear because they implicate that you have a choice over how you are feeling. While there is some choice involved in an emotion caused from an event like sadness over a death, clinical depression is not an emotion or a choice. A person cannot choose to feel something they didn't choose to feel in the first place.
Worst-Story: Please don't give examples of "someone you know who is worst and you are doing so much better than them because you brushed your teeth today." Or not good also, "You don't have anything to be depressed about, you have a beautiful family, nice house, etc." (Indicating that you have a choice.)
Well-Intentioned Advice:
These usually start out as, "My sister had this problem and she did xy or z" and ends with a sales pitch for a specific diet, vitamin, water purifier, or exercise equipment. In my mind, if there is something that is powerful and effective, it would be a million dollar money maker and not some obscure thing that a friend, heard from a friend. Likely, someone who is depressed will interpret this as your way to push your own agenda and make a buck off of someone who is vulnerable. You can tell your story, just don't expect a depressed person to jump at it as they have either tried it and it didn't work or are unmotivated to try it because they feel helpless.
If you shouldn't say things that are explained above, what can you say???
1-Run it through your head first. If you wouldn't replace it with something like "cancer" or "high cholesterol", don't say it. ("If you just act like you don't have CANCER than you'll feel better." or "If you serve others, you're HIGH CHOLESTEROL will disappear.")
2-After it passes #1, determine if it is something that would be genuinely helpful. Something like, "what can I do to help you?" is a start. It's likely they won't want to be a burden on you so be proactive and do something that you observe needs to be done.
3-Something like "I hate that you're experiencing this" is also a good idea. Empathy is helpful, as long as it doesn't come across as pity. Pity is frustrating and demeaning.
4-You can ask questions, if you ask first and have permission! You could say, "I notice you seem down, do you mind if I ask questions to better understand what you're going through." Some good questions are, "Is everyday bad or just some days." "How do you know the difference between a bad day and a really bad day." "Has anything been helpful in the past?"
5-If it's none of your business, keep it that way!
6-If it is your business, evaluate in your mind how severe you think they are and if you think they are a risk to themself or others, ASK them. Many times they will tell you. If they don't tell you, and you still think they are a risk, intervene with the advice of a trusted professional.
If you have other ideas about helpful things to say, or not to say, feel free to leave a comment!
Spiritual: "Let God carry the burden." "Read your Bible more." "Serve others and you will feel better."
You get the gist, any idea that by reading more, praying more, or serving other people will make the depression go away is just not true. People who are expriencing depression will be more frustrated with you for not understanding what they are feeling. Many cannot muster the energy to brush their teeth, let alone pray, read, or serve others. Some may have tried doing these things, only to find they didn't help and so they are frustrated with themself about why these things may have worked for someone else but not for them.
Cognitive-Behavioral: "Act Opposite to your Emotion." "Fake it until you make it."
Statements along this realm are frustrating to hear because they implicate that you have a choice over how you are feeling. While there is some choice involved in an emotion caused from an event like sadness over a death, clinical depression is not an emotion or a choice. A person cannot choose to feel something they didn't choose to feel in the first place.
Worst-Story: Please don't give examples of "someone you know who is worst and you are doing so much better than them because you brushed your teeth today." Or not good also, "You don't have anything to be depressed about, you have a beautiful family, nice house, etc." (Indicating that you have a choice.)
Well-Intentioned Advice:
These usually start out as, "My sister had this problem and she did xy or z" and ends with a sales pitch for a specific diet, vitamin, water purifier, or exercise equipment. In my mind, if there is something that is powerful and effective, it would be a million dollar money maker and not some obscure thing that a friend, heard from a friend. Likely, someone who is depressed will interpret this as your way to push your own agenda and make a buck off of someone who is vulnerable. You can tell your story, just don't expect a depressed person to jump at it as they have either tried it and it didn't work or are unmotivated to try it because they feel helpless.
If you shouldn't say things that are explained above, what can you say???
1-Run it through your head first. If you wouldn't replace it with something like "cancer" or "high cholesterol", don't say it. ("If you just act like you don't have CANCER than you'll feel better." or "If you serve others, you're HIGH CHOLESTEROL will disappear.")
2-After it passes #1, determine if it is something that would be genuinely helpful. Something like, "what can I do to help you?" is a start. It's likely they won't want to be a burden on you so be proactive and do something that you observe needs to be done.
3-Something like "I hate that you're experiencing this" is also a good idea. Empathy is helpful, as long as it doesn't come across as pity. Pity is frustrating and demeaning.
4-You can ask questions, if you ask first and have permission! You could say, "I notice you seem down, do you mind if I ask questions to better understand what you're going through." Some good questions are, "Is everyday bad or just some days." "How do you know the difference between a bad day and a really bad day." "Has anything been helpful in the past?"
5-If it's none of your business, keep it that way!
6-If it is your business, evaluate in your mind how severe you think they are and if you think they are a risk to themself or others, ASK them. Many times they will tell you. If they don't tell you, and you still think they are a risk, intervene with the advice of a trusted professional.
If you have other ideas about helpful things to say, or not to say, feel free to leave a comment!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Home Schooling Vs. Public School
I admit, I am not ready to let my 4 year old go to school. Some of my hesitation comes from a recent seminar I attended on teen mass murderers which definitely scared me but I was having second thought s previous to that, too.
My main hesitation for public school comes from my personal philosophy that school is more of a means of teaching obedience and sameness. My son would do fine, but not blossom. In organized classes, he is shy and is often overlooked (he easily missed snacks, extra art supplies, and singing time). With me, he loves to sing, loves art, and I hate that he was left out of activities.
I am really inspired by Money Saving Mom and her dedication to homeschooling, home organization, and working. However, homeschooling takes consistency, a schedule, and discipline (things I currently lack).
Unfortunately, Jeff and I neither agree or disagree about the subject. I think in the ideal world, I would be staying home, homeschooling, nursing until our baby is 3, and happy and content. The reality is that the lifestyle I just described would soon become very boring and unfulfilling for me (as I have tried it before and suffered much worse depression).
If anyone has any insights that could sway us one way or the other, or a third option, that would be helpful!
I did check out Joy of Five J's blog. She has great articles on home schooling. Even after surfing her site for hours, I'm still not convinced one way or the other.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Valentine's Promo Code = Free Baby Carrier!
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Saturday, January 22, 2011
Debt Tracking
I found a pretty simple debt tracking excel form from "It's Your Money" and wanted to share the link!
The first sheet is an introduction, the second is instructions, the third is an overview where you can put all your account information, the next is debt and income sources, the fourth is a break down of each debt including limits, APR, and months to paydown, the last three are a way to track your paydown and how close you are to freedom!
Wowza! I was not happy once I saw all of our debts in one location. I won't share how bad it is, just know ITS BAD.
I hope this form can open your eyes too!
The first sheet is an introduction, the second is instructions, the third is an overview where you can put all your account information, the next is debt and income sources, the fourth is a break down of each debt including limits, APR, and months to paydown, the last three are a way to track your paydown and how close you are to freedom!
Wowza! I was not happy once I saw all of our debts in one location. I won't share how bad it is, just know ITS BAD.
I hope this form can open your eyes too!
Friday, January 21, 2011
G-Free DisNey!
Jules Gluten Free has a great article today about how to do Disney dining gluten free. She stayed in the same Disney resort I stayed in as a kid so it had a nostalgic feel to it.
She also offers that Margaritaville has a gluten-free menu. We'll have to check that out, too!
Now to book plane tickets! Mawhahahaha...
She also offers that Margaritaville has a gluten-free menu. We'll have to check that out, too!
Now to book plane tickets! Mawhahahaha...
Budgeting Spread Sheet
I was reading along my blog list and saw a great offer from the the frugal free gal! She has an incredible spreadsheet to help you organize your finances.
For the first time in over a year, I pulled up my bank account online and went through item by item of everything we've used the debit card for this month and seperated it all out. I even think I found an error of something we've been double billed for each month for the past three months. Wahoo!
Now, I just have to track down outstanding balances on our debt and on our investments so we can track that too! It's so nice to have it all in one little place.
Our goal this year is to rebuild savings.
For the first time in over a year, I pulled up my bank account online and went through item by item of everything we've used the debit card for this month and seperated it all out. I even think I found an error of something we've been double billed for each month for the past three months. Wahoo!
Now, I just have to track down outstanding balances on our debt and on our investments so we can track that too! It's so nice to have it all in one little place.
Our goal this year is to rebuild savings.
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