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Monday, December 6, 2010


Most of my friends (and now strangers, too) will know that I have varying degrees of depression. I don't know why that feels embarassing to say. Maybe not embarassing. Maybe fearful. I'm not sure. I've had it for years and am about 80/20 these days (good/bad). This is huge progress for me, as it's been worst at times.

Some things I do that seem to help:

1-Tanning bed, some reason the extra warmth can do wonders. Sometimes, I just sit in the room with it on and don't even get in!

2-Making sure I shower everyday and do my hair. If I don't do that, I'd probably stay in pjs all day and worsten my depression.

3-Affirmations. Sometimes they are simple, "I am fine." sometimes, they are more complex but I repeat it when I am feeling overwhelmed.

4-Boundaries. I mostly have no problem saying no. I have no problem that my sidewalks aren't shoveled, my house isn't clean, and my work is behind.

5-Support System. I think what makes the difference from today, vs ten years ago is that I have a husband that is present and aware of my emotions when they change and can alert me to the change. He is non-judgemental which is crucial.

6-Cymbalta. Neurofeedback. Gluten-free. Who knows. These are three other things in my life. I don't know if they are making a difference or which one is making the most difference.

I feel that most people, at some time, suffer varying degrees of depression. My hope is that someday it wont be taboo to discuss depression and that we can sometime openly discuss even more taboo things like suicide and suicide ideation. We'll get there, as a society, but not today.

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